Silence

   In my senior seminar class, we're reading a book by a well-known Japanese author, Shusaku Endo, called Silence.  It's a story about the persecution and trials faced by the Western missionaries that went over to Japan in the 1500's.  Part of our class assignments involve writing a 'blog' (a 1-page paper) for every class period; it can be on whatever we want, but so far I've found a lot of good thought-provoking ideas from the book and have utilized them as both an ally to finish assignments as well as times of reflection.  

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    One of the major themes (and coincidentally the title) of the book we've been reading is the seemingly "silent" nature of God throughout the story in Japan.  It is a theme that every believer, looking back at their faith journey, would be able to place at one point or another.  I find it to be a very interesting point of discussion, especially among any semi-decent sized group, where the odds favor the fact that at least one or more persons is in that season at that very given moment.
    Towards the middle-end of the book, Endo is describing another time where Father Rodrigues is feeling as though God is not present.  He has been in captivity for some time, has witnessed several Japanese Christians tortured and killed, and is then about to be tormented again by the translator.  He says, "The sea was silent as if exhausted; and God, too, continued to be silent.  To this problem that kept flitting across his mind he had as yet no answer" (130).
    At those times in our lives, the silence is usually characterized by the fact that we don't see God moving in or around our situation, and we don't hear his voice speaking into our lives.  Sometimes even those outside of the situation, distant from any deep emotional connection with it, are also unable to provide an outlook more optimistic or hopeful than those within it.  The perception of silence causes some to give up on their faith, on their relationship with God.  For others who persevere and know that it is through our struggles that we grow stronger, hindsight often provides the answers we had been seeking before--we realize how God was working through those times, and that he indeed was not silent, but rather speaking in a way we did not yet know or understand.  He was working beyond our human comprehension for something far greater than we could know.
    At church we sing a song that has quickly become one of my favorites.  In the chorus we sing, "In the silence you are speaking; in the stillness you are moving; In the chaos you're still here, you're still here with us."  For me at least, that song speaks such truth and brings a peace of mind.  God doesn't always work in ways that follow the "outline" we've written up in our minds for how we think He should be present, and 'divulge information' into our lives.  Sometimes it's best that God works in the silence.  Because if we could hear Him, I'm not so sure we would listen--I know of plenty of times when I wouldn't have.  So knowing this, He instead speaks in the silence, moves in the stillness, and stays by our side in the midst of the chaos, waiting in anticipation for the day when we see how, through it all, He has been molding and shaping us into the people He created us to be.

Back to work from my slight academic detour....
♥ C

LIFE

     a little cliche? yeah.
              still good and perfectly relevant? yep.
      ♥

a good place to start.

I was thinking the other day about how easy it is to fall into the sin and ways of the world. If we're completely honest--regardless of whether it's lifestyles society promotes, movies, music, etc.--they're all very captivating and have our attention much more so than how we're to live as Christ-followers.  It's exciting, fun, pleasurable, self-indulgent, immediately gratifying...shall I go on?  We get caught up in its alluring grasp.  How do I know this??  Well by experience of course.

And then one person came to my mind...my little sister.  I love my little sister.  She is not your typical 19 year old by any standards of the world.  She is so convicted of living in a way that doesn't follow and pattern the ways of the world; and so, regardless of what other people think, I see her strive to live a pure life--her thoughts, her actions--with the mindset of seeking God and glorifying Him in all things.  She's one of my heroes.  I'm her older sister, but honestly I look up to her more than she looks up to me.  For good reason too.  I know we aren't to compare ourselves to each other because we're all fallen, and Christ is who we need to be looking to and modeling our life after.....but I want to be like her when I grow up.  Not thinking of how to justify things I know I shouldn't; or that I have it all together; or that I've grown a lot and come a long ways, so for now I'm gonna take a break.  Nope.  And while the two of us are very different, and at times I feel like the "rebel" of the family (yes dad, I still want my nose pierced. sorry ;), I get to have her as an awesome role model!

Lately, I've been convicted of living so selfishly, and when I think about the life we are called to live (like Francis Chan describe in the video from my last post)....I get overwhelmed and don't even know where to start.  How do we reach the point where Paul and the disciples were??  Where the Korean missionaries who were kidnapped were??  I look at how far I have to go, how far away that seems, and get overwhelmed and discouraged; then I just stay where I am and don't take any steps forward. 

 But what if I stop looking so far ahead?  What if I looked right in front of me.

What if I just start by taking it one day, one step forward at a time. 

Get into the Word.  Pray with fervor, forgiveness, and thankfulness.  Work at loving as Christ did.

What if I really start striving to live a pure life, in mind and body, longing to seek God and glorify Him with my life. 

That's a good place to start. 

♥ C