Dinner With Skeptics

I haven't been this focused during a sermon in while!  Such an awesome message.  I will be buying the book for sure.  (couldn't get the embedded video to upload, so I just had to use the link :) )

"Dinner With Skeptics" -- Series on Doubt

♥ C

Silence

   In my senior seminar class, we're reading a book by a well-known Japanese author, Shusaku Endo, called Silence.  It's a story about the persecution and trials faced by the Western missionaries that went over to Japan in the 1500's.  Part of our class assignments involve writing a 'blog' (a 1-page paper) for every class period; it can be on whatever we want, but so far I've found a lot of good thought-provoking ideas from the book and have utilized them as both an ally to finish assignments as well as times of reflection.  

.......................

    One of the major themes (and coincidentally the title) of the book we've been reading is the seemingly "silent" nature of God throughout the story in Japan.  It is a theme that every believer, looking back at their faith journey, would be able to place at one point or another.  I find it to be a very interesting point of discussion, especially among any semi-decent sized group, where the odds favor the fact that at least one or more persons is in that season at that very given moment.
    Towards the middle-end of the book, Endo is describing another time where Father Rodrigues is feeling as though God is not present.  He has been in captivity for some time, has witnessed several Japanese Christians tortured and killed, and is then about to be tormented again by the translator.  He says, "The sea was silent as if exhausted; and God, too, continued to be silent.  To this problem that kept flitting across his mind he had as yet no answer" (130).
    At those times in our lives, the silence is usually characterized by the fact that we don't see God moving in or around our situation, and we don't hear his voice speaking into our lives.  Sometimes even those outside of the situation, distant from any deep emotional connection with it, are also unable to provide an outlook more optimistic or hopeful than those within it.  The perception of silence causes some to give up on their faith, on their relationship with God.  For others who persevere and know that it is through our struggles that we grow stronger, hindsight often provides the answers we had been seeking before--we realize how God was working through those times, and that he indeed was not silent, but rather speaking in a way we did not yet know or understand.  He was working beyond our human comprehension for something far greater than we could know.
    At church we sing a song that has quickly become one of my favorites.  In the chorus we sing, "In the silence you are speaking; in the stillness you are moving; In the chaos you're still here, you're still here with us."  For me at least, that song speaks such truth and brings a peace of mind.  God doesn't always work in ways that follow the "outline" we've written up in our minds for how we think He should be present, and 'divulge information' into our lives.  Sometimes it's best that God works in the silence.  Because if we could hear Him, I'm not so sure we would listen--I know of plenty of times when I wouldn't have.  So knowing this, He instead speaks in the silence, moves in the stillness, and stays by our side in the midst of the chaos, waiting in anticipation for the day when we see how, through it all, He has been molding and shaping us into the people He created us to be.

Back to work from my slight academic detour....
♥ C

LIFE

     a little cliche? yeah.
              still good and perfectly relevant? yep.
      ♥

a good place to start.

I was thinking the other day about how easy it is to fall into the sin and ways of the world. If we're completely honest--regardless of whether it's lifestyles society promotes, movies, music, etc.--they're all very captivating and have our attention much more so than how we're to live as Christ-followers.  It's exciting, fun, pleasurable, self-indulgent, immediately gratifying...shall I go on?  We get caught up in its alluring grasp.  How do I know this??  Well by experience of course.

And then one person came to my mind...my little sister.  I love my little sister.  She is not your typical 19 year old by any standards of the world.  She is so convicted of living in a way that doesn't follow and pattern the ways of the world; and so, regardless of what other people think, I see her strive to live a pure life--her thoughts, her actions--with the mindset of seeking God and glorifying Him in all things.  She's one of my heroes.  I'm her older sister, but honestly I look up to her more than she looks up to me.  For good reason too.  I know we aren't to compare ourselves to each other because we're all fallen, and Christ is who we need to be looking to and modeling our life after.....but I want to be like her when I grow up.  Not thinking of how to justify things I know I shouldn't; or that I have it all together; or that I've grown a lot and come a long ways, so for now I'm gonna take a break.  Nope.  And while the two of us are very different, and at times I feel like the "rebel" of the family (yes dad, I still want my nose pierced. sorry ;), I get to have her as an awesome role model!

Lately, I've been convicted of living so selfishly, and when I think about the life we are called to live (like Francis Chan describe in the video from my last post)....I get overwhelmed and don't even know where to start.  How do we reach the point where Paul and the disciples were??  Where the Korean missionaries who were kidnapped were??  I look at how far I have to go, how far away that seems, and get overwhelmed and discouraged; then I just stay where I am and don't take any steps forward. 

 But what if I stop looking so far ahead?  What if I looked right in front of me.

What if I just start by taking it one day, one step forward at a time. 

Get into the Word.  Pray with fervor, forgiveness, and thankfulness.  Work at loving as Christ did.

What if I really start striving to live a pure life, in mind and body, longing to seek God and glorify Him with my life. 

That's a good place to start. 

♥ C

fellowship in suffering

Could I fit in in the New Testament that Francis Chan is describing, and the call that we all have??  Honestly...no, not even close.  I've never suffered like that.  I've never been in fellowship with Christ like that.  I don't like suffering, I don't like being rejected...I have fears and insecurities.  It's gonna hurt.  But I want to want it.  I want his presence with me.  I want to know what Paul is talking about when he's talking about the fellowship of his sufferings.  How amazing would it be to know Christ in that way??

"If you're not suffering, you shouldn't be at peace.  You should be wondering, 'Man, what in the world? How come no one's attacking me?  How come Satan isn't attacking me?'...probably 'cause he didn't have to."    --F.C.

"...that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.  I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
                                                                    Philippians 3:9-11

...♥ C

draw a line in the sand.

so good.

CCV--Pastor Jeff Vines--Philippians 3:12

"We've gotta stop destroying the possibility of having anything but a mediocre life. We need to get up, get going...the abundant life is waiting; God's mercies are new each day."


"We can't give up, we can't give in, we can't quit.  We gotta keep moving forward in faith."

♥ C

Philippians 4:13

 

CCV--Pastor Jeff Vines--Philippians 4:13

 

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

starry night.

   One of the things I miss the most since I've left for college, is sitting outside at night to just look at the stars.  Being that I now spend the majority of my time in southern California, where the next best thing is the beautiful sunsets smog creates, coming home to a clear night sky full of millions of stars is one of my most absolute favorite things EVER.  It always has been. 
   There's something about a starry night like we have at home that mesmerizes me--the constellations, shooting stars, and the peacefulness that envelopes over you when you're out there.  Some of my favorite memories, best conversations, and thinking moments have been on nights like that.  While I was visiting home a couple weeks ago, one of the nights I came home after working at my parent's store, and I surprisingly wasn't tired at all.  So I pulled up a chair on the patio and sat outside for awhile.  As I sat there thinking about the events that had transpired that day, I was consumed by a thought I had when I was having coffee with a friend whom I hadn't seen in awhile.
   What I've seen and what I've struggled to wrap my mind around, is how far love for someone will carry us, and how powerful it really is.  Love that is beyond, "I love my new shoes!" or "I love to watch a sunset." or "I love my dog."  While those are all true, they are not the love that I am referring to.  The Greek did the smart thing and defined more than one word for the different types of "love," but I guess we've gotta work with what we've got. 
    As I've looked back on the love that I've witnessed and been a part of in my life thus far, I was reminded of something my high school pastor told me one time; he said that, "relationships are one of the most greatest gifts God has given us on this earth."  Particularly a relationship with Him.  The love of Christ lead him to the cross where he died for our sins so that we could have a relationship and live eternally in His presence.  Crazy right?!  All because of love--unfailing, never-changing, selfless love. 
    Think of what we will do for the people we truly love.  How far we will go for them, the things we will do for them, the longing we have to see them succeed and be happy.  And that's as a human being.  It's unfathomable to think of the love that our God possesses. 
    I look at my parents, especially with this latest journey they've embarked on, and I've never once doubted that they loved each other.  In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, they are as one.  There's mutual respect, honor, and support for each other.  And then I just think of how much more God loves us.
    I've seen the effects of when love is missing from the puzzle.  I've watched as a friend has made some not-so-great choices, drifted away from many they were close to, and has developed relationships that remain shallow, getting cut-off as soon as it gets a little uncomfortable.  But the power of love as God created it comes into focus again when I look at this person's family and closest friends.  They show fear, worry, and concern at the uncertainty about what may happen, they make an effort to be in contact, to let the person know they're still there not matter what, and they pray.  Pray that God protects, and is there watching over even if the person has drifted away from the relationship with Christ they once had.  Praying that, if hitting bottom is what needs to take place, then it would happen sooner rather than later and that it would be the thing that opens his eyes to what he's known to be true all along.
   Love is powerful.  And it's the greatest thing God has given us.  In 1 Corinthians 13, God describes love.  It is patient, and kind; it does not envy or boast.  It is not rude or self-seeking, it is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs.  It does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.  These remain--faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.  
   Francis Chan wrote a book called Crazy Love.  In it he says that we need God to help us love God, and likewise, we definitely need God to help us love our fellow faulty human beings.  The Holy Spirit has to move into our lives for the love of God to grow in our hearts.  We have to stop pursuing God and loving others in order to sin.  But as we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural; because as we pursue Him, we become more satisfied in Him. 
   I still don't fully understand it, I never really will.  But it is one of the most fascinating things to think about.  Beyond the fact that there are numerous types of love, and that there are different "levels" if you will, of love; it is so amazing and undefinable.  It has the capacity to change even the hardest heart.  Love is captivating. Love is crazy.  Love never fails. 

Jesus: More than a Savior

Love hearing him speak.  It's very challenging, not necessarily what we "want" to hear, but definitely what we need to hear as believers claiming to follow Christ. There is so much truth to what he's saying...

the unmerciful servant

   Last night while I was working things were a bit slow.  Times like these mean my mind could drift anywhere, and in that instance I though about a podcast I listened to of a sermon our pastor gave a few weeks ago.  It's entitled "I Don't Want to Forgive," and really challenged our sinful human nature.  The reference passage was Matthew 18:21-35, which is the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant.  A servant has an insurmountable debt, one that his many generations to follow would be enslaved for in an effort to pay it back.  The king does the unimaginable and forgives the slave of all debts and sends him on his way.  The servant, however, refuses to forgive the debt that is owed to him by his own slave.  Finding out what had happened, "the Master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed." 
   This so perfectly demonstrates our lives in relation to the sacrifice Christ has made.  Never will we be able to fathom the grace, mercy, and forgiveness that has been given to us, nor will we ever be able to repay it. And while we are so grateful that we can live freely in Christ, knowing that our sins are forgiven and we will spend eternity with him....we struggle to forgive others for the trespasses we feel have been committed against us.  There are certain people that have wounded us so badly, and others that we feel have reached their "forgivable limit," and have just done too much.
   In the beginning of the parable though, Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive someone that sins against him? Seven times?  Jesus tells him no, not seven, but seventy-seven times.  In other words--as much as it takes. 

   This is hard to swallow sometimes, because forgiveness is hard and often painful, because it means we have to face a situation head-on....no denial and no running away.  At times we feel that when we hold back forgiveness, we're in control of the situation, and that once we start the process of forgiving that person...we'll lose all control and will end up being hurt all over again.  But in reality, it holds us captive, and robs us of any possibility of a healthy relationship.  And even if reconciliation isn't a possibility (because forgiving doesn't mean reconciling), it sets us free within other relationships that had been effected as well.  Because holding that bitterness and unforgivenss in, doesn't just affect those two people....it affects everyone connected in any way.  Satan isn't going to use our selfish human nature to just destroy one relationship, he's going to use it to get as many around us as he can.

   At the end we were challenged to think of who we needed to forgive.  Everyone has at least one person that they're still holding things against that they just can't let go of.  Things maybe they've repressed, things maybe they're trying to get revenge for, or things that maybe have caused bitterness and resentment to build up.  We need to seek God and His wisdom and help, because we can't handle it on our own.  I know that I've failed in this area because I tried to do it without Him, and it doesn't work.  And I think it's important that once we've reached a point of forgiveness, where we've truly let God take it from us and we are freed from the burden, that we talk to whoever it is that we've forgiven and let them know, regardless of whether there is reconciliation or not, but especially if that is a possibility.  There is so much power in forgiveness, and while it may not be instantaneous and the other person may not be on board at that point in time, it's headed in the right direction at least and you've started on the path of healing. 

♥....C

little things today:

- going for a bike ride with two of my favorite people

- being outside, away from the city, in the clean, clear, fresh air

- looking through old pictures

- spending time with my parents

- inside jokes

- frozen yogurt

- summer rain........♥

♥ C

                      it holds us captive. 

            it keeps us from loving completely, 

                                    passionately, 

                                            and unconditionally.  

       it puts the other at our mercy.  

it can't ever end well, at one point or another...

                             ...they will fail to meet the mark.

so let the expectations go.  let God be our example of grace and love without them.  try it in just one relationship to start; and see how much joy, wholeness, and richness there is to be found when we let the walls of expectation down, and we let forgiveness fill us up. 

♥ C

oh heavens.

This last weekend at church, a guest pastor spoke about heaven.  It was such a refreshing message; it was humorous, encouraging, honest, and thought-provoking.  It was a great sermon to hear, so I thought I'd share. :)

  "Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 
  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them.  They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

  He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.'" 

                                                                  Revelation 21:1-5

....♥ C

little things this week:

- waking up refreshed
- taking a walk
- phone calls from my family
- talking about what heaven will be like
- worshiping next to two of my best friends
- lazy Sundays
- swimming and laying out by the pool
- fresh fruit for lunch
- Friends
- starting a new book

....♥ C

learning to be thankful.

   Today Hannah and I decided we wanted to go to the farmer's market that's semi-close to our house so we could get some fresh veggies.  It was still late-morning and hadn't gotten too hot yet, so we decided to walk down instead of drive.  As we were walking we both commented on how beautiful of a day it was, and now nice it was to actually walk somewhere.  We're so accustomed now to just driving to where we needed to go, that we get into our routines and forget what about what a simple pleasure walking is. 
   Anyways, that got my mind going in a tangent about the simple things I forget to be thankful for each day, and the little things God puts in our lives to make it worth living each day.  There's a blog I'm quite fond of called justlittlethings.tumblr.com/.  All it is is a list of submissions people have made about the small things that fill our lives that we often forget to appreciate.  New ones get added each day, and it has become one of my most frequently visited websites.  There's so much joy to be found in them, joy that we often pass by as we get caught up in the humdrum of life.
   That said, I have added the practice of thankfulness to my summer list.  Praying with a thankful heart should be habit, and should go beyond "thank you for this day, for this food, for my health, etc...."  It should be at all times during the day, it should even be at times when things aren't that great because we know that God is present and in control, and it's through those times that we grow the most.
   One way I've seen it done is to simply make a list--in a journal, on a blog, etc.--that simply says what we're thankful for that day or that week.  Not only does this help focus and direct our prayers and our minds, but it also re-centers us and helps us change our mindset and perception; it's so easy to get caught up in what hasn't gone so well, what someone has said or done, or just the stresses of life.  Recognizing what we have to be thankful for helps us remember the things that make life beautiful and give us reason to love it, and that our God is the creator of all these things.  

♥ C

optimistic.

  Well, it has been quite some time since I wrote last. This semester was one of the best yet, but it was also one of my busiest and most stressful.  But, life continues on.  And now that I am only in one class, involving my internship hours at the preschool as well as some reflective writing and textbooks reading assignments, taking the time to write on here should be more frequent.  At least that's my goal... :)  And this summer I've decided I would really love to read more.  Not just any books, but books written to inspire, to encourage, to be outright honest, to challenge, to give hope, and to continually shed more light on who our God is--His character, His love, and His desires for us and our lives. 
   Because I really do love both those things, reading and writing.  I was going through some of my older posts this morning, and it's neat to look back at the different phases of life that I have gone through.  To see what has changed, what's still the same, where I've grown, and where I still could use some growing up.  
   So hopefully today will be the start of a summertime full of reading the words others have been inspired to write, and putting my own thoughts into written words.  There's not time like the present.  Always helps to be optimistic, right? This kid knows what I'm talking about. :)

a resolution.

  2010 was one for the books.  Then again, I guess every year is.  2011 will have its own story to tell, 363 more days until it's complete.  Not sure why I'm looking forward to this year so much, but I am.  I really have no idea what's in store, I'm just excited.  The only explanation I can think of is that God has taught me so much this past year, that in this new one I have a new perspective, a new sense of hope in this life that he's given me to live.  And not that I think about death often, but its reality is something I've found myself pondering every now and then.  Not about the dying part, but about the life I've lived leading up to it (who knows how short or long that will be), and what will be said of it once it's over.  What is the story that has been written?
  A verse in the Bible that keeps coming to my conscious mind is 1 Corinthians 4:12, "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial..."  Just because something is allowed doesn't mean that it is the best choice.  Especially if it causes someone else to stumble, then it definitely isn't.  Why God has put this on my heart so persistently, I'm not quite sure yet. Maybe some choices will need to be made in the near future, maybe I will be faced with situations I haven't before and it's preparation. My uncertainty about the purpose of that particular verse goes right along with my uncertainty about this upcoming year and what it has in store.
  I've never been one for New Year's resolutions, they seem to have lost their significance and greater purpose.  I feel that they've become something that we just do because, well, that's what you do at the beginning of each year.  But what percent actually can look back and say 'Hey, I stuck with it the entire year and was successful?'  Not many.  However, I do believe that God calls us to be continually reflecting, coming to a greater understanding of ourselves and our God, and thus continually changing and growing. 
  The verse in 1 Corinthians reminds us that all things we do, big or small, are to be for the glory of God, that His name be lifted up. To know I am blessed in good times or challenging times. To know God refines us through the fire.  To know His plan is greater than my own.  To be grateful, because like love, gratitude begets gratitude.  To know that He is a living God that is active and working in my life, that my life will bear fruit now and even after I am gone. 
  That's my "New Year's resolution."