fellowship in suffering

Could I fit in in the New Testament that Francis Chan is describing, and the call that we all have??  Honestly...no, not even close.  I've never suffered like that.  I've never been in fellowship with Christ like that.  I don't like suffering, I don't like being rejected...I have fears and insecurities.  It's gonna hurt.  But I want to want it.  I want his presence with me.  I want to know what Paul is talking about when he's talking about the fellowship of his sufferings.  How amazing would it be to know Christ in that way??

"If you're not suffering, you shouldn't be at peace.  You should be wondering, 'Man, what in the world? How come no one's attacking me?  How come Satan isn't attacking me?'...probably 'cause he didn't have to."    --F.C.

"...that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.  I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
                                                                    Philippians 3:9-11

...♥ C