carpe diem

   It's been awhile since I've written a blog, the words just wouldn't seem to come.  It's been awhile since I've sat down and just let God fill me back up, life seems to be pressing on and I haven't been able to slow down.  But as of yesterday, life has finally settled a little bit, and I feel like I will finally be able to come to the surface and catch my breath; and it's not because I've been extremely busy, although these last few months have been rather full, but I feel so exhausted because my mind has been so consumed with a million different things.  I look back on these last 6 months--from school, to my trip to Egypt, to my social life, to struggling with bouts of depression--it all seems like a blur.  However, it's in these last 6 months where I've grown the most, where I've been the most challenged, where I've been completely broken...but where I've met with and seen our God in the most real and powerful and amazing way.  
   Lately it's been on my heart to really focus on doing three things: reflect more, risk more, and do more things that will live on after I die.  This all came about after I heard about a survey given to 100 people over the age of 90 asking what they would do differently if they could go back and do it over--those were the three most common answers.  And the more I thought about it the more I saw that in a life truly lived for Christ, those three things are in abundance. And when I think about them, they seem to fit hand in hand with the past, present, and the future --
- Reflecting: looking back at my life thus far, my choices, my relationships, my attitude, my mind, my heart; coming before my God and Savior completely humbled and broken, so thankful for his endless love and grace. 
- Risking: looking at my life in that moment, seeking out opportunities to share and to show love, knowing that God, although never promising it would be easy, is right behind me all the time, watching over and protecting me.  Putting all my faith and trusting in Him completely, because it is He who is in control of the situation; and it is then, when we are in our most vulnerable moments, that we grow and our lives are transformed.
- Legacy: Within the context of eternity, our lives are a mere blink.  But when I'm gone, there still is a life to be remembered; and with my voice then silenced, only the life I've lived will speak to who I was.  Regardless of my intentions, my actions and the life I lead is what will speak to the condition of my heart.  Will those actions reflect the love I have found in Christ?  Will the things I've done, and the relationships I have be remembered because the root of it all was a love and a passion for Christ and his Kingdom come? Or everything but. 
   Last night as I sat in church, moved by the presence of God that overwhelmed me, I realized that I've been trying to fit God into my life, rather than seeing myself as a part of his kingdom.  And this isn't to say I don't think God is in my life, but instead that I've been trying to put God in this box known as 'my life.' But as much as God is there, He's also everywhere else.  He fills the entire universe and then some.  I look at the stars every night and I am in awe.  They are incredible distances away, and I cannot help but think about how awesome it is that my God--with his endless love, grace, and power--extends beyond even the furthest star, but has also found its way into the depths of my heart. 
   We are to be active members of his Kingdom come, and His will to be done does not involve standing around.  God desires for us to be proactive, to be involved, to be vulnerable, to challenge ourselves, to come alongside others in community, to reflect, to risk, and to do things that live on even after our time has passed.  And each day is a fresh start, and new chance to seize every opportunity we can.
....♥ C 

"For by him all things were created; things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.  He is before all things, and in him all things all things hold together....And through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross." 
                      Colossians 1:16-20